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There is a space between what we say and what we think, and that gap is never fully realized. But we can continue to try to connect the points, and eventually maybe we can get somewhere.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Fear

When it all drops
when all the bricks come down
one by one
a game of reverse tetris
when we both let it go
when I let it go
when there is silence
when I'm not sure which step
to take
or which way
to look
when I look but I can't seem to find
when the music stops
when the music plays
when I wake up
when you leave
when I leave
when the plane picks up
and then lands
when I try to be poetic
when I try to be more
than what I am
when we play the game
are we playing a game?
when I wait
when I reach the sand
when I breathe
when I exhale
when I see you next
when the pictures move
off the walls
when the pictures move
onto the walls
when I take the picture
when we move slowly towards
the window
when the rain pours
when we forget it all
exists
when there is nothing else
when I open my eyes and look
into yours
when we laugh and know it's ours
when I recognize the impermanence
when I recognize the permanence
when I call you tomorrow
when we know it's real
even when it isn't
when it all seems so cliche
when it is all so cliche
but for fucks sake, that's why it's cliche
when we realize we don't care if it's cliche
when I look backwards
when we know what had happened
when I see the road behind me
and I know that it's all gone
when I know that it's all gone
and I'm finally able to let it be gone
when I don't care that I'm writing poorly
when I mail you that letter
when we get our consonants all mixed up
and when our vowels slur
It's been a bit of lull
but perhaps when I get back
will be when I recognize there is no real
ending
just the continuation of an
excessively long drawn out
overly repetitive painfully awkward
and terrifically
horrendously beautiful
waltz
maybe then I won't be so scared.

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